My name is Lea Fabro. I am 22 years old. I have two brothers, and I am the middle child. I was born and raised in the Philippines. My dad came to the United States to work when I was six. At the time, he could not take us with him because our documents were not fully processed yet. He came home at least once a year and would only stay for three months or so. It took a few years before we could finally come to America.
My family comes from Ilocos Sur, Philippines, a region in the country’s biggest island, Luzon. Ilocos Sur is a province situated in the northern part of the island. Both my parents, and their parents, were born and raised in the same region. I am not sure if I have relatives from other islands or from other regions, but if I do, I have never met them and they are presumably distant relatives. I grew up in a small town in Ilocos called Santa Cruz. My mom grew up in a town roughly 35 minutes from Santa Cruz. Since my dad’s family has been in Santa Cruz for generations, the people knew them well and they were well-liked.
Both my grandparents from my dad’s side do not have any siblings. However, both are very close with their cousins so I have been lucky enough to have met a few of my second and third cousins. Growing up, my grandparents really emphasized the importance of family. My dad and his brothers are very close. When we all moved here, they made sure to live and stay close to each other and they did.
Moving here was one of the most life-changing, bewildering, exciting and unforgettable experiences in my life. I always knew that we were going to move here at some point. I was 13, which, I think, is a crucial age. At that age, you are expecting to be able to plant yourself before trying out new things necessary for growth. I had already made friends, made mistakes and experienced things that I thought I would be able to carry with me for the rest of my life.
Growing up, I always went to church every Sunday. My elementary school also made us attend mass on Wednesdays at least once every month. My religion classes also taught me how to recite the rosary, something that came handy during funerals—we always recited the rosary at funerals. As Catholics, we also said grace before meals and as a kid, I was always told to pray before bed.
There are plenty of missing stories from my family’s history. Philippines was under the control of the Spanish, American, and Japanese governments for quite a time. My great-grandparents on my mother’s side told me that their parents spoke some Spanish and that their grandparents were of Spanish descent. However, I never heard any stories about them, their lives, where they lived and what happened to them. I was not told of any American or Japanese influences in my family. The only aspects we picked up from these powers were the English language, which is the country’s second language. My family is not aware of any cultural traditions that we practice from the Japanese.
Moving to a whole different country made me feel as if I had to start over. It made me feel as if I needed to discard everything I believed in. It made me feel as if I had to be a blank sheet of paper so I could let my environment and people around me define who I was supposed to be. I thought that would be easier. I thought it would make things a little more bearable and it did. But it wasn’t how things were supposed to be, and I learned that later on in life.
Everything was different and unfamiliar to me. I didn’t know what culture shock really meant before I came here. It felt like the first day of pre-school all over again. I felt the need to reinvent myself a few times in an effort to find where I was meant to be.
When I started middle school here, I observed just how staggeringly different America’s society was compared to Philippines’. In the Philippines, couples did not kiss or hug each other in public, especially not on school grounds. I remember coming home from my first day of school and asking my brother, who came here earlier than I did, if that was normal. He told me that was something I had to get used to for I’ll most likely see it everywhere. I also noticed that kids were allowed to wear anything they wanted, paint their fingernails, wear makeup and do whatever they wanted with their hair—things that my school in the Philippines did not tolerate. I told myself I was not going to change. I was used to being told what to wear, what not to do and how to do my hair. I was not accustomed to seeing affectionate couples and revealing clothes. These things were new to me and I did not welcome them. I told myself I wasn’t going to change.
When I started high school, I made more friends who I really liked. They accepted the part of me that did not want to conform. However, I realized that I didn’t really share many things with them and I thought that was unfair of me. Those friendships made me realize that maybe if I went with the flow then things would be easier and I didn’t have to try so hard to be relatable. I decided I didn’t need to stay the same and that changing was a necessary part of life. I also decided that I would go with the flow, that I didn’t need to keep my values and everything I used to believe in. I was going to let people tell me how to act and how to be. I thought that would help fitting in easier. I realized later that I didn’t to be like everyone else. I didn’t need to throw away everything I believed in nor do I need to start over. I just needed to grow, progress and develop. I learned that fighting for what you believe in and keeping an open mind simultaneously is necessary in life. I learned that I didn’t need to be a non-conformist nor did I need to be a new book, I could work with the beliefs I already had and I could discard the ones that won’t work and if I took wrong steps then I could always start over with what I already have.
I’m learning that it’s the same with reporting, in a way. I learned that sometimes there will be particular sources I won’t like talking to because their views don’t match mine. I have learned that there will be stories I won’t always enjoy writing for various reasons. Through all these experiences, I have learned to be flexible and to always keep an open mind.
FACING DIVERSITY 